The melted what?
JESSICA : “mom! Mom!! MoM!!! MOM!!!!”
ME : “Sheesh Jessie, it stinks in here! What do you want?”
JESSICA : “My tummy hurts”.
ME : “Well finish going poop & then if it doesn’t feel better I’ll give you medicine”.
JESSICA: “But mom, I’m going poop the kind that’s melted.”
ME : {Cracks up laughing.. I’ve never heard it called that before! ha ha ha}
JESSICA
: “It’s NOT funny! My tummy hurts!”
Several minutes later….
JESSICA : “Mom, is it okay if I take a shower, but only to wash my butt?”
HA HA HA HA!!!! I love the crazy things my kids say!
What are some funny or off the wall things your kids have said?
Coming Out of the Closet
People of Walmart
I really should know better by now. I never learn! I know from past experiences that no matter when I leave my home, I should NEVER EVER leave looking like I am about to be featured on the website People of Walmart. Oh yes I went there with Walmart. Admit it… We get dressed to go to Target and when we look homely we say, “It’s okay, we’re just going to Walmart” haha.
I was gonna run quickly to the dollar store just to get a package of tortillas. (yes they sell non-expired tortillas there) In my thoughts, I was going to be in and out quicker than Clark becomes Superman so I figured it was not a big deal to be dressed as if I were shopping at Wal-Mart. Yeah, that didn’t happen. As always, I saw not one but two students. UGH! The first one was kinda funny. He saw me, half-way smiled, put his head down and ran away like how Napoleon Dynamite ran away from a girl. Anyhow, that little 1st grader probably thought I was going to talk to his mom about how many times he has been in detention. I am the Behavior Intervention Specialist at my school (just a fancy title for detention and In School Suspension teacher) Keep Reading
Bicep Workout from HELL
Ever since my divorce I have (obviously) gained a butt load of weight. UGH! It’s to the point that I can’t breath when I tie my shoes. Yup! It’s that bad. I gained quite a bit of weight after my divorce because I no longer felt that I needed to cook. Ha. Yeah that sounds crazy. When I was married I was never made/forced to cook or have dinner ready when he got home from work, which I was grateful for. But that is exactly what I did most of the time because it made me feel good to do it and I wanted to do that for my family.
It’s so easy to start living a healthy lifestyle. 
Keep Reading
Invasion of Flies
So I leave mi casa in the morning nice and tidy… okay, FINE! Maybe just nice. I go about my day at school. Come home to find mi casa had been invaded by flies. I don’t mind one bit if you’re going to invade my home, but if you do, by golly gee George, you better darn well clean it! Heck, I’ll even leave the door unlocked for you if I know you’re coming! Keep Reading