My Funeral Remarks…

So a little over a year ago I had a dream that I died. In my dream I was attempting to go to my own funeral because I wanted to hear what people would say about me but every time I tried to walk in to where the service was being held, I was not allowed in because I was dead. Ha. So RUDE not to let me in… I wanted to punch people in the face for not allowing me at my own funeral. haha  Anyhow, I saw the tear-jerker movie The Fault in our Stars and a particular part in that movie reminded me of a time I asked my friends on FB this question.

 “If you were speaking at my funeral service, what would you say?”

The comments I got on FB were funny & I wouldn’t be surprised if when I did die that these things would actually be said. Hope you find them as comical as I did.

  • Watch out you people on the front row, Edna may be jumping out of her coffin any minute now… She has way too much energy to stay dead. ** Can you imagine if I were to jump out of my coffin! Oh my gosh!! That would have to be on Candid Camera because I would love to see everyone’s faces
  •  I’d like to thank everyone for coming out to Jester’Z tonight. Please pay your respects to Edna on your way out. **I would ABSOLUTELY love for the Jester’Z to perform at my funeral service!
  •  Cause of death you ask? Dying of laughter OF COURSE! ** ha ha ha… hee hee hee..  That reminds me of the time I almost literally died laughingread #4 here.
  •  You are a wonderful person who lived well, loved much and laughed VERY often. I am grateful to have had the honor of meeting you. I would not say goodbye only see you later. ** Thank you so much. It was great knowing you… Till we meet again! Oh wait… I’m not dead yet.
  •  I feel for those in the spirit world lol jk   **Hardy Har har! I hope you’re talking about the spirit world up stairs, not down stairs.
  •  OMG she’s going to give God hell. **Wouldn’t that be funny if God went to my funeral service and said, “I’ve only had her for a day… Take her back!!!” ha ha
  •  I would say ” Edna would like to know if anyone has any coupons to pay for this coffin we ordered on eBay” ** HA HA HA HA!! When it comes down to it, this will most likely be the truth. Ya’ll better use coupons. I’ll start looking for them now. (but I did see a coffin for cheap on Craigslist)
  •  I would say, “wait just a minute, hell will send her back up here” ** I’m assuming you know me too well. Or is it that you and Hell have a close connection?”
  •  Get up and outta that box slacker!   **Sheesh!… not even after my death am I allowed to rest in peace. ha ha
  •  We would like all of you to join us in the Cultural Hall after burial service to enjoy the wonderful food from the Menu Sister Edna prepared along with her favorite beverage Kool-Aid.    **Be careful what you say,.. you may be mistaken for a Mormon. ha ha… And make sure it’s extra sweet red kool-aid!
  •  Yes, there’s room for chipmunks in heaven too! **chipmunks are so cute… well the sound they make could be at times annoying Eep! Eep! Eep! Eep! Eep! Eep!
  •  Yo diría que mi hija se esta haciendo; y si fuera cierto, diría que se murió de un simplismo.** Di la verdad.. Dirias que yo fue tu hija favorita! 
  •  I’d say “there goes the cutest cuz in the world” well… All my girl cousins are cute anyways.   ** My dear sweet cousin.. you are such a butt kisser! 
  • I for one am rather surprised that she allowed people to spend money on a real coffin. It must have been on a good sale with a huge discount.  ** I guarantee that I will not have a fancy expensive coffin. It will be plain and simple with with Mickey Mouse ears on it.
  • She would laugh so hard she would pee her pants.  **For the record… I don’t pee my pants, I just laugh so hard that the tears run down my legs!
  • I don’t really know if she was actually happy all the time or if she was high on happy drugs because that was one crazy odd chick!   ** I guess you will never know….. Hey look! There’s a squirrel

I got a lot of chuckles from reading these comments!!!!  And hopefully I’m around to hear all your remarks at my funeral! And beware because I will come back after I die, not to haunt you but to make sure you’re always laughing. Who knows, I may tickle your hiney when you’re about to shower. Eeww gross I just had a visual… I better not do that. HA.   But I will do pranks just for kicks and giggles. It’s fun to play pranks on people as long as I’m not the victim like I was THIS time. ha. So every time you trip or fall, (like I always do) just laugh because it will be me tripping you.

Would you want to know what would be said at your funeral
or is that just a tad creepily morbid? Ha.