I hope you all will learn from my experience…..
I woke up with plenty of time to do the three S’s. And wouldn’t you know it, before picking up my daughter from early morning seminary, (bible study for church) I still had some time to feed my addiction.. Facebook! I check my email and get my youngest up for school. So far so good. Yay for a great, non rushed morning. As anyone with kids know, that is not something that normally happens.
It’s just about time to take my youngest daughter to school and then head off to work. All is on schedule with about 5 minutes to spare. What to do?? AGGHH!! What a dilemma. Do I drop her off early at school or hurry and make a Spam sandwich to take for lunch? You better know it… I made me that Spam sandwich! Mmm. Delicioso! I don’t mind eating the Spam right out of the can, so I cut my piece of Spam and put it between two slices of my homemade bread. Then Jessica, (Kindergartener) says, “MOM!!! My mouth is watering for Spam, look” (as she shows me her saliva dripping from her mouth) I cut her a piece of Spam but she refuses to eat it unless it’s browned. So I look at the time and think.. Hmmm, I guess I can brown a couple pieces in a few minutes. Well… her browned piece looked so scrumptious, so I took the Spam out of my already made and packed sandwich so that I could brown my piece as well. Then I ate it!!! OH CRAP!!! Why did I do that? Now I had to hurry and make me another one to take for my lunch at school. By this time I was already about 10 minutes late getting out of the door! UGH!!! But still with a little time to not be late to work. So of course I still try to rush out of the door like Speedy Gonzalez on a mission and then realized that Jessica isn’t wearing shoes! AGHHH!!! I run upstairs and can’t find her shoes. So I run and tumble a little right back down stairs (no surprise as I fall a lot – ha) and luckily found her shoes, one under the kitchen table and the other by the front door. How is it that she has about 8 pairs of shoes and they are always lost!
So I speed off to her school and of course get every dang red light and am behind every darn slow person! AAGGHHHH!!!! Get to her school and I try to rush her out of the car. She’s slower than a turtle getting out of the car. I anxiously told her to hurry and get out without trying to earn the worst mother of the year award. Wouldn’t you know it, she starts to cry!! OH GREAT… I don’t have time for this!!! I realized that one of her shoes is not on, her clothes are not tucked in (it’s her uniform policy to have tops tucked in). So I had to get out of the car to help her and give her a hug because I would have felt horrible to just send her off crying with one shoe in hand. Anyhow, that was finally done and over with.
Now I am driving like bat out of hell to get to school on time. And once again… I get ALL the flipping red lights. I have 5 minutes before the bell rings and I let out a big sigh of relief that I won’t be late to school. I look behind me and what do I see… none other than a motorcycle cop!!!! AGGHHHHH!!!!! Are you kidding me!!!! He had his lights flashing at me as I was getting ready to turn into the school parking lot. So I decided to turn down another street because, come on now, who would want their students to see their teacher pulled over by a cop. HA! I guess I shouldn’t have turned an opposite direction because it obviously pissed off the cop because he turned his siren on. Ha ha ha.. All I could think was, “Oh crap, I sure hope no students are watching me thinking I am running away from the Po’ Po’”. Anyhow, I finally pull over a couple blocks away and the conversation went like this…
Cop: “Do you know how fast you were driving?”
Me: “No, but where were you hiding that I didn’t see you?”
Cop: (in a very annoyed and upset voice), “Excuse me?”
Cop: “Where were you going in such a hurry?”
Me: “I’m a teacher at that school right there and the bell rings in 1 minutes and didn’t want to be late”
Cop: “Well thanks for helping kids, but do you know what the speed limit is?”
Me: “Yes, it’s 45”
Cop: “No! It’s 35 and you were going 54.
Me: “Oh, I guess that’s bad since speed limit isn’t the 45 I thought it was”
Cop: “Yes, one more mile over and you would have spent your day in jail”
Me: “Yikes! That’s bad”
Needles to say, I got a speeding ticket and I unfortunately made it in to school a few minutes late. I get to school and realized… OH crap!!! I didn’t need to speed because I won’t see any kids today until about 9:30 am…. AND I didn’t even need to make me a lunch because I got out of school early that day! Yes, sometimes I am a space cadet!
Traffic school… watch out because I’m coming in full force, toting a Spam sandwich!!!!
So the lesson learned for the day… Never… I repeat NEVER make Spam for breakfast because it is bad luck!