Brace yourself because there’s nothing funny about this post. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball. At times we are expecting it and others, it hits you out of nowhere. In my case, there was a curve ball that was thrown at me several years ago, but instead of catching it I kept dodging it in hopes that it wouldn’t hit me and just go away. But I learned that we can‘t hide forever because it WILL one day catch up to you. And sadly, it caught up to me 4 months ago.
Sometimes we get stuck living our lives the way other think we should live it. After a while it becomes the norm when in fact it’s all a lie. We smile and appear happy because others look up to us because we are the fun, outgoing, strong person they know. Eventually we will explode and just break down.
It is then when you realize that you have been living a life that wasn’t fair to you. A life that you or your children should have never been around. You are forced to make a tough decision that will affect everyone you love. Due to the choice that has been made… people start to gossip and people start to point fingers. It is then that you realize who you can trust and who is there just for gossip. They will love you, they will care for you, and they will be by your side when you need them the most.
I have learned through my recent tough times that if I keep things bottled up I become an angry, bitter, depressed and horrible person. I know that is not who I am.
You know who I am? I am the happy go lucky type of gal. I am the gal that loves to laugh. So when you ask me how I am doing, believe me when I tell you that I am doing as great as can be and that I have made the best out of a bad situation. HONEST!!!
The reason I am doing great is because I know for a fact that I made the right decision. And it was not a decision that was taken lightly. Luckily I have been blessed with many great friends & family that have helped me when I have had trials in life, especially with the most recent. I have wonderful friends that are there for me when I need someone to help me with my burdens. I can’t stress enough the importance of having a strong support group.
For those that have asked, no I am not depressed, I am actually happy. I feel great because with my latest trial, I have not bottled up anything. I have been VERY open and 100% honest to anyone that has asked me how I was doing, what was going on, and how they could help. Communicating my feelings has been extremely therapeutic. So thank you friends, family (and Jester’Z– tee hee) for being my free counselors! I am so very blessed that I have amazing friends that have given of their time for me. It is because of my friends/family that I am able to move forward with my head help up high knowing I did all I could do. I thank those that have literally held my hand, that have genuinely hugged me, that have let me cry on their shoulder, those that have let me yell to let out my frustration and mainly thanks to those that just listened while I talked your ears off!
After trying for a long time and instead of things getting better, they got worse. After going through an overload of continuous heartache and pain, it was finally time to make a tough but absolutely necessary and very over due decision and move on.
Although it is a tough thing to go through, I know without a shadow of a doubt, that I have made the right decision. There has been a lot of rumors and whispering (kinda loud because I’ve heard them. ha) about what was happening with me. So for those that don’t know, I am once again a single parent.
Stay tuned for my thoughts….. to be continued in 5 years. 🙂 ha