I Lost My Mojo!

I have issues but that’s besides the point. I realized today that I totally lost my mojo and need help getting it back. So here’s the scoop…  While at the movie theater an amazingly Hotty McNaughty sat next to me. Bow Chicka Wow Wow.  We looked at each other in that slow motion flirty kinda way. You know, the way they do it in movies. ha. He smiled at me and I gave a slightly smirky smile as I tried not to blush. Then BAM! It hit me!! NOOOO!!!!! I was not dressed nice. I wasn’t wearing any make-up. I hadn’t combed my hair (it was up in a very messy bun like an old librarian on a hungover type of day).  I didn’t get dressed up because I figured why bother considering I went to the movies on Thursday in the middle of the day.  I still have yet to learn from my mistakes. Although I know I didn’t really look like I was about to shop at Walmart, I sure felt like I belonged on the People of Walmart website. hahaha .

This is what I felt that I looked like…

 

This is actually what I looked like. Kinda close to how I felt. ha

 

Anyhow, I was watching a funny comedy and I literally laughed through most of the movie. You know when you’re with your friends and something funny happens and you look at them when you laugh as if you need their approval to laugh or to make sure they too saw the funny part. Well yeah, that totally happened.  Mr. Hotty McNaughty kept looking at me and I continued to try my best to avoid eye contact (I was unsuccessful as he caught me staring every time I looked his direction).

I laughed, he laughed, I snorted, he laughed, he chuckled, I chuckled.  He kept looking in my direction which made me giddy, anxious and nervous… haha.  Was he trying to flirt? Was he wondering why I wasn’t at Walmart? Was he secretly laughing AT me? So what did I do? I hurried my short little legs out the theater and ran, ok.. maybe not ran, but I did waddle fast to the bathroom to try to comb my hair so I looked somewhat presentable in case he saw me out of the theater with the lights on.  Eeekk!  I frantically looked for make-up in my purse but was not lucky. I did however find a small hair clip and chap-stick, so at least I was able to take my hair down and make my lips look moist. hahaha.  Yeah, pathetic or desperate, you call it whatever floats your boat. I call it trying to find my long-lost Mojo.

And this is what I looked like after running like Napoleon Dynamite out the theater ..

So as I walked back to the theater trying to look confident with a smile on my face and my gut sucked in as much as possible without passing out, I purposely walked in the opposite way that I walked out so that I could walk in front of him as I went back to my seat. hahaa  Yup.. that’s what you call “”back in grade school” status. hahaha. Anyhow, the laughter from both he and I continued. It was rather comforting to know someone else found the movie as funny as I did because usually it’s just me laughing.

The movie finally ended and I stayed in my seat and waited until he left so I could see if he was actually the Hotty McNaughty I though he was in the dark. He and I were the last two in the theater. Turns out we both had the same agenda. haha. The lights went on a tad and YUP! He was still Mr. Hotty McNaughty Pants.  He didn’t leave. Instead he started (or attempted to start a conversation with me) What in the world was happening?  Did he not see what I saw in the mirror when I ran to the restroom? ha. He commented on how funny the movie was and how he couldn’t help but laugh every time I laughed.   Oh GEEZ!!! He WAS laughing at me. hahaha. I seriously was tongue-tied because I found him attractive and words just could not come out of my pie hole.  All I could say was, “So, I’m assuming you heard me snort a few times”. ha. He said he did hear me once. Oh MY!!! And he still stayed to talk to me after that. We had about a 7 minute conversion. And by we, I mean mainly him. haha.  He talked about his daughter in college. I knew I couldn’t continued the conversation by asking what college and blah blah blah blah… but instead I said, “Oh. My daughter is in college as well”  (DUH! I felt like banging my head on the wall) He told me he was from LA… and other little things. I couldn’t speak. I just smiled, chuckled, and shook my head. I had a VERY difficult time looking him in the eye because he was SO handsome that it made me uncomfortable hahaha. . So  instead of me continuing a conversation that we both wanted to have, I said, “Well, I better go” and I walked out quickly. (CURSE WORD!)

As I walked out the theater with butterflies in my stomach, (you know, like the kind a school kid gets when they see their crush) all I kept saying was, WHAT in the world just happened??!!!  He was stinking sexy-licious!  I couldn’t believe I was nervous. I couldn’t believe I didn’t sit there to talk to Mr. Hotty McNaughty. I couldn’t believe I didn’t even ask him his name? I walked away as if he weren’t even there.  I couldn’t believe I lost my Mojo!

It’s been about 12 years since I’ve been on a date. Why so long? Because I got married in 2003 then got divorced almost 2 years ago & haven’t dated since. I’m ready to start dating again so I am asking for any tips on how to find my Mojo?

 

Oh… if you happen to see this man (aka Mr. Hotty McNaughty) send him my direction.