The melted what?

JESSICA:  “mom! Mom!! MoM!!! MOM!!!!”

ME: “Sheesh Jessie, it stinks in here! What do you want?”

JESSICA: “My tummy hurts”. 

ME: “Well finish going poop & then if it doesn’t feel better I’ll give you medicine”. 

JESSICA: “But mom, I’m going poop the kind that’s melted.”

ME{Cracks up laughing.. I’ve never heard it called that before! ha ha ha}

JESSICA: “It’s NOT funny! My tummy hurts!”

 

Several minutes later….

 JESSICA: “Mom, is it okay if I take a shower, but only to wash my butt?”

HA HA HA HA!!!! I love the crazy things my kids say!

 

What are some funny or off the wall things your kids have said?

Coming Out of the Closet

So last June I received an email from Jef (owner of Jester’Z Improv) saying that he had a casting call for me and if I was interested to let him know.  I wasn’t sure where he was going with this or if it was a joke.
His email said, “Are you a person that knows how to stretch a dollar? Are you so cheap that sometimes people get embarrassed by your actions, or ask you to help them with saving money? Are you so clever and savvy that you don’t coupon and shop at thrift stores to save money? Are you the type that likes to go to the EXTREME, when it comes to saving money? If so, TLC WANTS YOU!!!! TLC’s Extreme Cheapskates is casting their second season and looking for the most frugal/CHEAPEST people in America! If this sounds like you, or someone you know, we want to hear from you! Please send us the following: Name/s, Age, Email & Phone Tell us a little about your lifestyle and why you think you/they made the decision to live this way. Please give specific examples and please include photos of yourselves/them.”

People of Walmart

I really should know better by now. I never learn! I know from past experiences that no matter when I leave my home, I should NEVER EVER leave looking like I am about to be featured on the website People of Walmart.  Oh yes I went there with Walmart.  Admit it… We get dressed to go to Target and when we look homely we say, “It’s okay, we’re just going to Walmart”  haha.

I was gonna run quickly to the dollar store just to get a package of tortillas. (yes they sell non-expired tortillas there)  In my thoughts, I was going to be in and out quicker than Clark becomes Superman so I figured it was not a big deal to be dressed as if I were shopping at Wal-Mart. Yeah, that didn’t happen. As always, I saw not one but two students. UGH! The first one was kinda funny. He saw me, half-way smiled, put his head down and ran away like how Napoleon Dynamite ran away from a girl. Anyhow, that little 1st grader probably thought I was going to talk to his mom about  how many times he has been in detention. I am the Behavior Intervention Specialist at my school (just a fancy title for detention and In School Suspension teacher) Keep Reading

Bicep Workout from HELL

Ever since my divorce I have (obviously) gained a butt load of weight. UGH! It’s to the point that I can’t breath when I tie my shoes. Yup! It’s that bad. I gained quite a bit of weight after my divorce because I no longer felt that I needed to cook. Ha. Yeah that sounds crazy. When I was married I was never made/forced to cook or have dinner ready when he got home from work, which I was grateful for. But that is exactly what I did most of the time because it made me feel good to do it and I wanted to do that for my family.
It’s so easy to start living a healthy lifestyle. Keep Reading

Invasion of Flies

So I leave mi casa in the morning nice and tidy… okay, FINE! Maybe just nice. I go about my day at school. Come home to find mi casa had been invaded by flies.  I don’t mind one bit if you’re going to invade my home, but if you do,  by golly gee George, you better darn well clean it! Heck, I’ll even leave the door unlocked for you if I know you’re coming! Keep Reading